I first started consciously pining for slowness some years ago… when the pace of my days had become too fast and my experience of them too shallow for my liking. I dealt with it by starting a blog called Slow Living. Over the next several years, it was my attempt at slowing down to smell the roses, by reflecting on and capturing the mundane and delightful nuances of my days.

Many proponents of slowness talk about the mindset of JOMO (Joy of Missing Out)… as opposed to the all-too-familiar FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) that fuels a thirst for more and more experiences and preferably sooner than later. But if I’m honest, my quest for slowness began with FOMO too.. but of a different kind.

It was the fear of missing out on the magic that happens when you stare at the clouds for a long time, and can feel the universe moving within you. It was the fear of shuffling through a book too quickly rather than pausing at line 8 on page 172 that will leave a mark on who you become as a person. It was the fear of conversations that circumvented the raw and real human experience of those facing each other.

It was the fear of consuming without drawing any nourishment.

How are the ingredients of your daily life nourishing you?

THE GIFTS OF SLOWNESS

At age 10, I discovered a treasure over summer holidays: The diaries of a relative, filled with a rich collection of  poems, quotes, and couplets.

I spent a few hours every day pondering upon and sifting through them, copying on scraps of paper the ones I especially enjoyed. On returning home, for the second time over I re-wrote the collection into a beautiful hard-bound diary that I’d been saving for “something special enough” for a long time.

In the current age of screenshots and mobile cameras, this sounds laborious. However I remember those inky hours as filled with wonder.. as if I was playing in a secret magical world. 25 years later, I find myself quoting impromptu from that collection on befitting occasions. Which astounds me, given my generally crappy memory.

I believe that slowness entrenches us more richly and deeply within the experience of our own lives.

While that for me is reason enough to need no other reasons for embracing slowness, there’s more.

Research in Neuroscience widely recognizes that the innate human gifts such as creativity, empathy, curiosity.. all delicious things that tap into our higher abilities as humans, and not merely machines of simple task-based productivity.. become available to us in relaxed mental states.

Intuition and insight present themselves in moments of emptiness. Remember how Newton was sitting idly under a tree when he discovered gravity through a falling apple? Or how Archimedes had to pause grappling with his questions and go for a bath, only to suddenly have the answer arrive before him in a “Eureka!” moment?

Stillness is often also the first step for people to access their innate wisdom and inner guidance. They can finally hear their bodies telling them truths about what’s good for them and what isn’t.. a re-building of a relationship with oneself all over again: the first true connection, before one can fully connect with anything or anyone else.

How connected are you to yourself?

It is not uncommon, in coaching sessions, for people to be greatly surprised on noticing the strong responses from their gut, or other body systems, in response to big questions they are grappling with. It does not take years of meditation. It starts with a little bit of willingness to slow down.

Moments of stillness enable an expanded vision beyond our urgent to-do’s and tight schedules, to be able to appreciate the big picture of our lives, and notice which ladder is it that we are climbing? And whether that is indeed even the right one?

One of my favourite by-products of slowness.. is serendipity. Slowness creates empty spaces for things to come to you, for you to notice things and opportunities which you simply wouldn’t if you are running to a schedule at 120%… it allows the universe to converse with you, show you signs, give you gifts.

There is faith and humility in slowing down.. a recognition that we don’t know everything, nor do we control everything. That things far beyond our thinking and imagination might yet come to pass without us having to engineer them obsessively.

WHAT’S HARD ABOUT SLOWNESS?

When people say, “I simply cannot slow down/ sit idle etc., often they are referring to the external demands on their time by work, family etc. But typically there tends to be something else too. There is often an inherent discomfort with the experience of stillness. Why’s that?

Why are people scared of the dark? One is confronted with blankness. In the absence of anything external to capture one’s perception and cognition, something else takes over our minds. Projections of hidden fears take the shape of monsters under the bed for children, or worse for adults.

Slowness or stillness bring many people a similar discomfort. If you allow yourself to pause for some time, and notice what the stillness brings up for you, this discomfort involve feeling like (not an exhaustive list):

• you are wasting your time (and hence your life)
• you are being lazy (Feelings of shame)
• you are falling behind
• A heightened sense of being alone
• your life is becoming boring, and corresponding feelings of being ordinary
• you’re losing control (of your day, or your to-do list, or your mental strength etc.)
• waves of sadness, that you may or may not be able to attribute to specific reasons

Whatever it is, chances are that this monster-under-the-bed is anyway running your life in significant ways even when you are busy. Chances are many of your life choices and day to day activities are designed specifically (though not always consciously) to avoid it.

The discomfort is a sign that that’s exactly a doorway to one’s growth and transformation. It’s ok to take your time, to get the support you need, to choose to confront it a little later.. let the awareness seep in and show you what’s next.

SOME WAYS TO START MAKING FRIENDS WITH SLOWNESS

While meditation and mindfulness are excellent practices to incorporate in one’s life, many people find it hard to begin and sustain if they are not used to slowing down at all.

Here are some day to day ways that I find help me slow down. Perhaps these spark off new ideas for you!

• Being solitary in nature (electronics free)..
• Having a distraction-free meal.. paying complete attention to the texture, flavour and temperature of each bite. Notice the changes in these.
• Take 10-15 minutes to journal by hand at the end of a day about how you are feeling (try not to enumerate occurrences from the day, but tune into the feelings being experienced)
• Sit face to face with a loved one in complete silence for a full minute, paying complete attention to their presence, their face and eyes

Let me know what you’d add to this list!